The Surrender of the French

Once again, the World Cup has given me a chance to draw parallels between the biggest sporting event in the world and major events in world history. This time, it is the French who give me this wonderful opportunity, with the apparent mutiny of the team against head coach Raymond Domenech. This is remarkably similar to actions taken by the French army on the Western Front during the Spring of 1917. Fed up with the constant, full frontal attacks against well fortified, entrenched, German positions, French soldiers did the logical thing. They stopped listening to their officers, stopped fighting, and started drinking copiously. General Philippe Petain was brought in to end the mutiny, and he did so by simply giving the soldiers more and longer leave, and by promising that no more attacks would be ordered in which French soldiers armed only with pointy bayonets were sent into walls of German machine guns and artillery.

Now, fed up with Coach Domenech, the French national soccer team seems to have lost the will to fight. Will Les Bleus find their Petain? I certainly hope not. Petain became the leader of Vichy France during World War II, appointed by and collaborating with the Nazis. If the French find a coach who decides to collaborate with the Germans, well, the rest of the soccer world might be in for a nasty surprise...

World Cup Fun

Of course, I come up with a fantastic idea for a great column in the Echo sports section, and it comes after I graduate. I get the opportunity of a lifetime to combine my history major with my love of sports, and I cannot even get it published on paper anymore. God damn it.

Anyway... yesterday's World Cup match between the United States and England is a dream come true for a writer who also happens to be a proud American, a soccer fan, a history buff, and a lover of sports in general. Going into the game, this was a win-win situation for a person like me. After all, if we won, well, then we kicked the crap out of the redcoats, just like in the American Revolution. If we lost, well, we saved the Brits in two world wars, so they still owe us. But a 1-1 draw!?!? The soccer fan in me would have loved the win for the Stars and Stripes, but the history major will not complain, because now I have the chance to bust out a War of 1812 reference! (Although, this does deprive me of the opportunity to compare goalkeeper Robert Green, who lost the game for England, to General Charles Cornwalis, who lost the Revolutionary War for England...)

Yes, the last time the U.S.A. and England were at war, it ended in an entirely indecisive draw. England was expected to remain the most powerful nation in the world, until the U.S. asserted its dominance during World War I. I hope soccer works the same way. England was expected to dominate Group C, but just maybe the United States can shock the world and emerge on top.

With Slovenia and Algeria up next for both the U.S.A. and England, look for both teams to move on. And in the round of 16, odds are one of those teams will be taking on Germany. And if either team successfully beats the Germans, well, both the sports fan and the history buff in me will be going nuts...

Still Playing the Field

Well, here I am. Three weeks out of college, and I still want to write. But having graduated, The Colby Echo is no longer interested in my ramblings. So, I have decided to start a blog in order to keep ranting about whatever I feel like. This has some positives and some negatives. First, the negatives... the bad news. While writing for the Echo, I had a built in audience, the students of Colby College. Now, presumably, nobody will actually be reading what I have to say. But oh well. I still have the positives... the lack of an organized newspaper. No longer am I constrained to sports! No longer do I have to worry about what my editors think! No... now I can finally rant about anything, sports, news, politics, and I can leave all the fart jokes and swear words intact! Hallelujah!

So if you read my column at Colby, well, expect the same style and the same humor on a much broader range of topics. And if you have never read me before, well, keep reading. Expect the unexpected, and I hope you enjoy!